I thought it was very practical advise and yes I agree with what these girls managed to put on paper. One person found this helpful. I really dislike when books written by smart women are dumbed down by their excessive efforts to come off light hearted and giggly.
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This was an interesting book if you like to think of it in terms of a modern day Carrie Bradshaw type article, but the tone of the book is irritating. It's an obvious, elementary but interesting read. Would have been better if I left it out like I was reading it for her to discover. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. Very funny and very true!!
Found this book hugely helpful in navigating the " post dating world" I found this book to really help me assess and evaluate my dating life in a very productive manner. I was nodding my head in agreement the entire time I was reading The Gaggle and making a mental list of the friends I need to recommend it to.
It's very reassuring and relevant in this post-dating world we live in. Great realistic and fun! Recommended for all 20 something single girls and gives us a little more hope that love exists still. I would never normally read a book about women and "the end of dating", but my girlfriend forced me to read this when I got upset about some male friends in her life. I had the idea that I'd read the first and last chapters so that I could claim I'd read it, but once I started it I couldn't put it down I had to eventually put another book cover over it.
It looks past all the bs of how women try to change themselves so that the "perfect" man will want them, and reorients the whole view and shows how they so clearly have more power over their options, and over the insanity of the whole dating thing, and frankly since I'm a man, I know more power in the face of a lot of clueless guys who think they own the world and get to make all the choices, and determine what is attractive and what is not. It reminded me a little of the Japanese martial art of Aikido which I studied a couple years ago, which teaches you not so much to fight like kung fu or karate but to use the power of your opponents and merely channel it to your advantage.
This really talks about what women face now, and I have to say, I was very impressed by the insights it delivers by way of interviews with real people, and case studies, and the advice it gives. If I had a little sister, I'd buy this and give it to her immediately. See all 25 reviews. Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway. Set up a giveaway. There's a problem loading this menu right now.
Learn more about Amazon Prime. And online dating intensifies that confusion.
Kaufmann argues that in the new world of speed dating, online dating and social networking, the overwhelming idea is to have short, sharp engagements that involve minimal commitment and maximal pleasure. In this, he follows the Leeds-based sociologist Zygmunt Bauman , who proposed the metaphor of "liquid love" to characterise how we form connections in the digital age.
It's easier to break with a Facebook friend than a real friend; the work of a split second to delete a mobile-phone contact. In his book Liquid Love, Bauman wrote that we "liquid moderns" cannot commit to relationships and have few kinship ties. We incessantly have to use our skills, wits and dedication to create provisional bonds that are loose enough to stop suffocation, but tight enough to give a needed sense of security now that the traditional sources of solace family, career, loving relationships are less reliable than ever.
And online dating offers just such chances for us to have fast and furious sexual relationships in which commitment is a no-no and yet quantity and quality can be positively rather than inversely related. After a while, Kaufmann has found, those who use online dating sites become disillusioned. But all-pervasive cynicism and utilitarianism eventually sicken anyone who has any sense of human decency. When the players become too cold and detached, nothing good can come of it. He also comes across online addicts who can't move from digital flirting to real dates and others shocked that websites, which they had sought out as refuges from the judgmental cattle-market of real-life interactions, are just as cruel and unforgiving — perhaps more so.
Online dating has also become a terrain for a new — and often upsetting — gender struggle. Men have exercised that right for millennia. But women's exercise of that right, Kaufmann argues, gets exploited by the worst kind of men. The want a 'real man', a male who asserts himself and even what they call 'bad boys'.
So the gentle guys, who believed themselves to have responded to the demands of women, don't understand why they are rejected. But frequently, after this sequence, these women are quickly disappointed.
After a period of saturation, they come to think: The disappointing experience of online dating, Kaufmann argues, is partly explained because we want conflicting things from it: Worse, the things we want change as we experience them: Maybe, he suggests, we could remove the conflicts and human love could evolve to a new level. Or if 'love' sounds too off-putting, for a little affection, for a little attentiveness to our partners, given they are human beings and not just sex objects.
This is the new philosopher's stone — an alchemical mingling of two opposites, sex and love. Kaufman's utopia, then, involves a new concept he calls tentatively LoveSex which sounds like an old Prince album, but let's not hold that against him. Kaufmann suggests that we have to reverse out of the cul de sac of sex for sex's sake and recombine it with love once more to make our experiences less chilly but also less clouded by romantic illusions.
Or, more likely, realise that we can never have it all. We are doomed, perhaps, to be unsatisfied creatures, whose desires are fulfilled only momentarily before we go on the hunt for new objects to scratch new itches.
Then you need to try the latest dating phenomenon that is sweeping across the UK - speed dating. And I think it's a philosophical task, among others, to defend it. This is the new philosopher's stone — an alchemical mingling of two opposites, sex and love. Romance, excitement, self-discovery, love. Audible book Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to the Audible book with Whispersync for Voice.
Which suggests that online dating sites will be filling us with hopes — and disappointments — for a good while yet. This article contains affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase.
All our journalism is independent and is in no way influenced by any advertiser or commercial initiative. The links are powered by Skimlinks. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that Skimlinks cookies will be set. One in three adolescents in the U. One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. Why Focus on Young People?
Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence — almost triple the national average. Violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and The severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.